Presence Over Presents (not just during the holidays)
The holiday season is winding down this year, and I hope you’ve taken the time to connect with your loved ones near and far. But, even more so, I hope that you don’t forget how you felt during this time of year as January 1 comes and goes.
Showing up for our friends and family means a lot to them, and it helps us to really grow as people. It’s something we should be doing all year long, for a lot of reasons.
A few months ago, I connected with a friend from college. She had been going through cancer treatment and wasn’t feeling great. I told her that I wanted to see her and we made plans to meet up.
But the day of our get-together came and she wasn’t feeling well. She texted me to tell me that she literally couldn’t move that day. So instead of rescheduling, I made it a point to go to her.
It doesn’t matter what we look like or what we’re wearing. What matters is the real, human connections we make with others. It’s that we truly mean it when we say, “I want to see you.”
It would have been easy for me to reschedule with my friend. But the message I would have been sending her wouldn’t have been accurate. I would have been telling her that I only want to see her when the circumstances are perfect. And in reality, they never are.
I don’t think we realize how important it is for us to show up each and every day for others. Our family, our friends, our children, even those we don’t know as well. Building meaningful relationships creates more meaning and fulfillment in our own lives, which creates a better life–for ourselves and the people we’re showing up for.
So how do we do that? Just a few things I’ve learned when really trying to be there and show up for others:
- Be present. That means putting away the cell phone when you’re focusing on the person you’re with.
- Engage 1:1. I love a good event, but I make it a point to connect individually with people who I meet and see there. That’s where the real relationships are built.
- Mean what you say. If you say you’re going to do something, do it. Make that call, visit that friend, do that favor.
- Show up for yourself. Meaning what you say goes for you too. Treat yourself with the same respect you treat others in your life.
- Be grateful for every moment. You never know how much time you’re going to have on Earth. Make the most of every moment, connect with others and be thankful for every moment that you have.
It’s up to you to be present in your life and to teach your children about the importance of presence over presents. It can be hard at this time of year but now that we’re past all the big gift-heavy holidays, see if there isn’t a way to reconnect with that message.
